10 Years Later

Of course I remember where I was, what I was doing and the emotions and disbelief that filled my soul.  10, 20 or 50 years later, that will never change.  The tears I've shed watching the television the last two days are as if I was transported right back to that moment.  It will not change.  It can't be undone. 

As we go through life, many things happen that we wish we could just turn back time and warn people about impending disaster.  If we could would they believe us?  If someone told me on September 10, 2001 that within 24 hours we would be attacked by terrorists and thousands would die, I would have laughed and called them crazy.  No one could ever breach the defense of this country.  Well, it did happen and there isn't anything that anyone can do about it.  

So what now? 

We go on with life.  A new appreciation for life.  Love your life and the people in it.  The stories of bravery and humanity that come out of this disaster have lived for 10 years and I pray that they live on for hundreds or thousands of years after this.  My favorite quote from this weekend was made by Joe Biden, of all people, at the memorial for flight 93 in Shanksville, PA.  He was quoting something his mother told him many times when he was young.  She would tell him that courage lies in every heart and some day it will be summoned.  That's a quote that I will keep with me.

May God comfort the families and friends who suffered the loss of life on that dark day 10 years ago.
Never forget the bravery.
Never forget the sacrifice.

9/11/01 ~ NEVER FORGET

The End of an Era

Tomorrow is the first day of school in our area.  I'm sending three beautiful girls off to school.  My oldest starts high school tomorrow.  Even though she is holding her head high, I know she is scared.  My middle girl is starting 2nd grade and my youngest is beginning her journey with kindergarten.  It all happened so fast.  I have no idea where the time has gone.
My goal with eating raw is to live healthier and LOSE WEIGHT.  In high school I weighed 125lbs and had a very athletic body.  My children have never seen me like that, nor could they imagine me like that.  The other day I was school shopping with the two youngest.  My 5 yr old looked at me and said, "Mommy you are getting skinny!" really loud, right in the middle of the store.  I was proud of myself for losing weight and proud of her for noticing.
I haven't gotten along with my 14 yr old for a while.  It's been something that I just brush off because I know she's at that age where everything I say is stupid.  I have realized that since I've been losing weight, she has been communicating with me.  I've always known that my weight embarrasses her.  I just didn't realize that it was so bad for her that it actually affected our relationship.  I'm starting to see that is the case.  I can't blame her for being that shallow.  She's only 14 years old.  All she thinks about right now are looks and style.  So at least twice a week, I update her on my weight loss.  I can tell that she is happy about it and proud of me.
This fall marks the end of an era.  Actually, the end of two eras.  I will never have another child in preschool, all my babies are in school starting tomorrow.  Secondly, I will never let myself get that overweight again.  This summer has been a turning point in my life.  I know that all my children love me.  I'm not doing this for them, I'm doing it for me.  Their approval and pride in me is, however, an added bonus.

Big Day Tomorrow

I have a second interview at a local cancer center.  I had my first interview with them on Friday.  This is HUGE!  I'm so nervous.  It's a clinical interview so I will be working with the therapists and helping them treat patients.  I will be glad to be around patients again.  I truly love what I do.  I'm just so nervous about the fact that I have to impress everyone again tomorrow.  Probably an interview with the Dr too. 

I have been on a green smoothie feast for 2 days now.  My first goal is 10 days.  If I make it there and feel as good as I do now then I will continue for 30 days.  Who knows how long I can keep this up.  I just want to be healthy.  I drink 3 - 5 large smoothies a day.  I feel surprisingly satisfied.  I feel so healthy right now.  I see the raw food lifestyle as something I can hold onto and be proud of it.

No Stopping Me Now!

So I woke up today and weighed myself.  It's a big day.  I finally broke that 200lb mark that I've been sitting at for a week.  I officially weigh less than 200lb for the first time in about twelve years.  Yay me!  I have yo yo dieted for the past 14 years.  Only once did I get past 200 in fact I got down to 175 but that was on the Atkins Diet.  There's no way I could eat like that for the rest of my life.  It all came back roll by roll.  I've been close to 200 before.  I even have a WW card that says 201 on it from 5 years ago.  Last year I got down to 203 on Sparkpeople.  Each time I got close to 200 it was like I hit a boiling point and went back to my old way of eating.  YUCK!  For me it seems as if 200 has been the Sabotage mile marker for me.

Well not this time!  I love the way I'm eating.  I don't want to stop here.  This is the only "diet" that I can honestly call a "lifestyle".  Raw Foodism is the best thing that's every happened to me.  I feel radiant.  I feel vibrant.  I feel lighter!

Miserable Night at Work

What a miserable night at work.  I hate my job but am thankful to have it right now.  I work part time at a shoe store in the mall.  That is NOT what I spent the last 4 years in college to do but that's what's available to me now. 

People are pigs.  I found a dirty diaper and a half eaten sub when I was straightening up tonight.  If you are like that at home fine.  But seriously, people come out in public and expect me to pick up this mess.  Hey, if you get ten pairs of shoes off the shelves, at least make an effort to put them back.  I don't pick up after my children like that!

Whenever anyone is in a customer service, hospitality or retail job, it seems as if there is a certain percentage of the population who automatically thinks that you are subservient to them.  It's not the people who you'd think would act this way either. 

Oh yeah and I'm going to say that if you knew what I knew (and see every day) you'd never buy a pair of shoes again.  People sliding their dirty, nasty, unsocked foot into every shoe they can get there hands on.  Yuck!  That's all I can say!