Monday, December 11, 2006

Take a Picture. It'll Last Longer.

So lately, I've been a little self-conscious. You will most likely never see a picture of me because I am the one always taking pictures. You will not see a picture of me now because I will break the camera and hurt the photographer that tries. Here is my story.

If you have read my blog you know that I had a pretty stressful summer. Buying a house, selling a house, one daughter with a birth defect (which doctors cannot figure out), one daughter with an injury and all the other crud that daily life can throw at you.

When I get extremely stressed out like this, I get a bright red, peeling, flaky dermatitis ON MY FACE. Yes, I feel like a clown. Yes, people stare at me when I'm in public. No, there isn't a cure. I have to wait for it to run it's course, which takes months.

I have also put on a few pounds. I am in process of eating better and I bought a gym membership which I am going to start using today. I don't feel very good about my weight right now.

If that's not enough, my husband suggested that I dye my hair like I used to do. He likes it red. I am a person that looks good with red hair because I am a natural redhead. Over the years my hair color has changed to a brownish copper. I have good skin tone for the red so I can get away with it. Well, I did it. Now I look like the Little Mermaid's fat cousin with a skin condition. I don't know. I picked the wrong red I guess. Too much red, not enough copper. It also brings out the red in the dermatitis on my face even more. ARRRGGGGHHH!

When I go out in public, people literally stare at me. Well, at least I know it's all temporary. The fat can come off if I work hard enough. The hair will eventually fade. The face will clear up eventually, I hope. In the meantime, I keep reminding myself that God still loves me no matter how hideous I think I am.


Anonymous said...

Sometimes I think we dwell on the worst when we really should dwell on the best. I understand your facial problem as I also have one. I thought breaking out went away with teens, not so for me. I constantly fight it. I even won a beauty contest once! and modeled on TV once! So, I can't be that bad, but like you, I see the negative part of it all. You were blessed with daughters, I was blessed with my life has centered around having a dog. They are great little companions. You were blessed with a good husband (I'm assuming) and I was blessed with 6 divorces!! Yes, I picked wrong for various reasons. My handsome first love in my teen years and later married, turned out to be bisexual! I had never heard of the word. It's been years since that ended and I've just learned about such things in the last few years. I was never fortunate enough to have children
or had a stable enough life to adopt one. Now I'm 66 years and the time has passed for that. Go, sit down and look each child in the face and tell yourself how lucky you are to have them. The time will come to soon that you will wonder where it went and they will be gone living their lives apart from you. Enjoy this time, it will go by much faster then you can imagine. I feel like I blinked my eyes and my life has gone by so fast. How could I be 66 already?..savor every minute you have, this time will not last forever and it will go by as fast as the dream you had last night. The one that you can't quite remember all the details of this morning! God bless you.
Trust me...old gal 66

staceyhoff said...

I know, people can be so rude. You have probably tried every tip out there, but I thought I'd share with you anyways, a friend of mine has Rosacea too and she uses Proactiv and it has worked wonders for her. She also uses Alexix Vogel's makeup line of foundation and Bare Minerals because they are all natural and they cover up the redness better than anything at the drugstore or cosmetics counters. And you can always re-color your hair? God knows I did it enough times to make it fall out Lol I always used Joico's K-Pac treatment for that. Yes a little pricey ( $17 if I remember correctly) but worth every penney if you can get some. So here, I meant to commiserate and this turned into a beauty tips post. Lol! Loving your blog, by the way. Cute kiddos too!

staceyhoff said...

My friend has Rosacea too and she uses proactiv and it has really worked for her, also she used bare minerals or alexis vogel foundation because they are all natural and really cover up the redness better than anything else at the drugstores or cosmetics counters. You could always re-color your hair, too~ use Joico K-Pac treatment if you are woried about it's health. It is fabulous for if your coloring your hair, I used to all the time and it worked great for me. Love your blog, by the way! Cute kiddos too!