Monday, July 31, 2006

In Other Words 2

"There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, 'Thy will be done,' and those to whom God says, 'All right, then, have it your way.'"~ C.S. Lewis ~

This is my second week participating. When I saw this quote, it did not make me think of any particular life story. It made me think of my life as a whole. I am both of those people that C.S. Lewis is speaking of.

If I had a journal of my life there would be two parts. Part one would be all the times I said to God, "Thy will be done," and part two would be all the times God said, "All right, then, have it your way." We have to name each part of the book. Part one would be "Obedient, Happy and Content," and part two would be "Stubborn, Miserable and Not Content at All."

The book would be very confusing because it cannot be divided into these two parts and be in chronological order. I have gone back and forth between these two parts of the journey of my life many times.

When I obey God's will for my life, I know it. The inner happiness and contentment is overflowing and everyone can see that. When I disobey God's will for my life, I cannot sleep well, I am not happy with myself, I am unsure of myself and everyone can see my misery.

I would like to end my life book with part one being the bigger part, with more chapters. I'm just happy to say that I'm not a person that doesn't ever obey God's will for my life.

Please see my prayer request on my prayer blog, A Woman Prays. If you have any prayer requests let me know. My prayer blog is a chapter of part one in my life journal.

A Knock At the Door

Last night it was hot in our house. When I say hot I mean hotter than outside. We turned off the air conditioner, opened the windows and put fans directly in front of the windows to get some of the cool air into the house.

I decided to take a shower. Alexandra came in with me and Monica watched the baby. It was approximately 10:30pm. I don't force the children to go to bed in their rooms when it's so hot in the house. I'm afraid they'd get sick. Actually, the other night when I was blogging, Alexandra got up really whiney, sat on my lap and then threw up. That was pleasant.

Alexandra and I were in the shower having a good time cooling off when Monica exploded through the door. "MOMMY, MOMMY! SOMEONES KNOCKING ON THE DOOR AND YOU TOLD ME TO NEVER ANSWER THE DOOR WHEN I'M ALONE!"

First I was so happy that my daughter remembered such an important rule. I've never left my daughter alone in the house but she has rules for times that I may be taking a shower or such. When I was pregnant with the baby I was on total bedrest without any real help. My daughter took on a lot of responsibility toward her younger sister at that time and I just let the house fall apart.

Secondly, I was confused at who could be knocking at my door so late at night. I live in a nice neighborhood and no one bothers anyone else. I quickly wrapped myself in a towel but before I could get to the landing I heard the door opening. Monica let out a scream and started running for the door. "It's Daddy!".

My husband wasn't due to come home until Tuesday. He was away in New Hampshire on business. He owns a business with his brother and a big part of it is NH. He goes away for 1 week every month. They had a meeting with a client on Monday but they cancelled over the weekend.

What a nice surprise!

Saturday, July 29, 2006

A Good Cry

Have you ever just started crying over ....well, nothing. That happened to me today. Well, actually, I was crying over something, but it was a good thing. Can I tell you exactly what that thing was? No I cannot. I can tell you it was an amazing release.

I was sitting at the dining room table with my laptop. I was holding the baby and my two year old, Alexandra was sitting on my lap as well. We were listening to Todd Agnew's "Grace Like Rain" (my new favorite song) then Third Day's "Agnus Dei" and Alex was bopping to the music and singing along with her own version of the songs. I was singing and the baby was looking at me smiling.

I don't know what happened, but I couldn't handle it. It was like I saw so much beauty and grace at once. The beauty of innocence. The beauty of unconditional love. The beauty of being so blessed. The beauty of children. The grace of God. I realized that the chaos of my life covers up so much beauty. For a moment, God took every bit of chaos in my life away, and let me see what I am really striving for on a daily basis. He gave me a glimpse of what I can have if I just have faith.

I didn't cry for a long time. It was a short, quiet cry. I feel so much better. God is working in my life and I really feel that He has a plan for me to do His work. I haven't felt that way for a long time.

I wanted to put the two songs on this post so you could hear them if you're not familiar. I'm not quite that web / html savvy.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Carnival -- My Favorite Things

My family does not live a simple life. We love our toys, gadgets and electronic devices. For instance, we had one laptop but since we could not both be on it at the same time, we bought another. A desktop pc just would not do after being afforded the luxury of a laptop for so long.

To go with the laptops we bought a microsoft gps system (much cheaper than the handhelds). The map is as big as your laptop screen rather than a 4 x 4 screen on the handheld ones. It talks to you, tells you where to turn and shows a map of the vehicle moving. We can now navigate our way through any city without getting lost and it automatically gives you the shortest destination from point a to point b. The only advantage I see to the handheld ones is that you can put them in your pocket while walking.

Of course, now that we have the laptop in the car and the gps system going all the time while driving (we have been travelling a lot) we had to buy a power inverter to plug the laptop into the lighter outlet in the car. We got this item on clearance at Kmart for $17.00.

We also use the other laptop in the car as a dvd player in the van. No sense buying an expensive portable dvd player when we can use a laptop. Again we just bought another power inverter to plug into the other lighter outlet so our children can watch the dvd of their choice. It was a dramatic tradgedy when the battery went dead in the middle of movie Ice Age. And the oscar for best performance in a drama goes toooooo..................................My oldest daughter, Monica, of course.

I love the E-Sword program on my laptop. There is no other Bible Study program better than this one, in my opinion of course, and best of all it's FREE.

Now that you know what our favorite things are I will get to the story. The week before July 4th my husband was away on business. I decided to go camping in a state park located approximately 30 miles away from home with the three girls. I love camping and it was a great experience. Problem. It rained every single day. My oldest daughter and I refused to give up and the two yr old had a blast in mud. By the end of the trip, I had learned how to build a completely leak proof compound out of tarps, some poles and rope. We went to a local laundermat to dry the bedding if it got damp. The river was up but the rangers were constantly checking on everyone and I knew they would tell me to leave if it got dangerous.

What I did not know. It was completely and dangerously flooded back home and there were evacuations in the area. Why did I not know? This family of gadgets, toys and electronic devices only had one cell phone and it is my husbands business phone. We were camping cluelessly and completely disconnected from the outer world.

Now I had asked for, gave hints that I wanted and even tried to guilt trip my husband into getting me a cellphone. I said things like, "Don't you think I should have a cellphone for safety when I'm out, alone with 3 children most of the time?"

I still didn't know what was going on, but on the way home with all the roadblocks and officers I did think there was an escaped convict on the loose. After several detoured routes, the kids and I got home safely. There was only one passable route to and from my house when I came home but they closed that later because it started raining and flooding more. We could not go anywhere for 1 1/2 days.

My husband was very glad to finally hear from us and know that we were okay. He had called the park office where we were camping and they didn't want to give him any information as to whether we were still there or not. After a few conversations of talking nicely, asking because he was concerned, yelling, screaming, cajoling, and coercing they finally told him that we were still there the morning we were supposed to leave.

We were completely blessed in that our house was dry but people 1 block away from us lost everything they owned. My neighbors basement was flooded. My father in law, one town over, lost everything in his basement including the furnace, hot water heater, washer, dryer and what seemed like endless boxes of memories. I personally have never seen such devastation in our area as this. I was very sad. Interested in seeing photo and news coverage of the area during the flood?

Skip three weeks later to my birthday. I get a purse that I wanted which eliminates the need for a diaper bag because it is big enough to put all the essentials in it. In the purse, lo and behold, my very own, brand new cell phone. Now my husband can go on his business trips without having to worry and I have yet another fun toy and favorite thing.

Dedicated to Everyone Who's Given Me a Dirty Look

I don't know if the magazine realized it would be quite so big, but apparently they got a lot of flack for this beautiful photograph. Read article here. Read some reaction here.

Okay so here's my 2 cents.

I believe breastfeeding mothers have an obligation to be discreet as to not just let everything hang out. I have seen mothers like this in public, my favorite being the girl I saw in Walmart in a too tight tank top up to her neck and the baby hanging off her breast like a Christmas ornament as she walked down the aisle with the other breast hanging out. This classless and shocking act offended even me (but I do give credit to a young girl for going with breastfeeding).

I believe the photo above is completely tasteful for a baby magazine and if you are offended by it then don't look. I am offended by Playboy and Hustler but you don't see me writing to them about how offended I am about the magazine covers I don't even look.

My baby doesn't like a bottle. If she is bottle fed you have to manually squeeze the milk into her mouth until she chokes and swallows it because she refuses to latch on to the nipple. I believe this is cruel so I don't leave her with anyone for a long period of time (4 hrs at the most). Each of my children deserved the best and no less. I determined that the benefits of breastfeeding far outweigh any benefits to formula feeding for me. My daughters deserved it. If you have a choice (some moms don't because of medications, milk production issues etc) then please consider trying to do what your body was made to do. Your baby deserves the benefits.

If you are offended or turned on by a blob of my fat that might accidently show itself in a clothing malfunction, then do me the courtesy and look away because you are the sick individual gawking at me. I do not bare it all. I am very conservative. I wear loose t shirts so that you don't see anything. Sometimes I can be sitting directly in front of you, feeding my child and you wouldn't even notice unless you were looking somewhere on my body you really shouldn't be looking anyway.

I will feed my child in the dirty bathroom when you bring your plate in and sit in the stall next to me, or better yet, make your child sit in there and eat.

If you think it's "gross" that I feed my child the way God intended, (if you don't believe in God then the way nature intended or whatever you believe in) then look up the word mammal. If you think my child deserves less than the best, you are dead wrong. If you are anti breastfeeding and think the whole act is sick, then you are a fool.

If you are a breastfeeding mother and someone gives you a really hard time, know your rights. The saying "Knowledge is Power" is very true. If you are a mom or mom to be who would like support or more information on breastfeeding, contact your local chaper of La Leche League today.

If you have questions or are uneasy about breastfeeding or need support, feel free to comment. I will be glad to talk to you.

Blogging Chicks Rock!

I'm now proud to be a member of the blogging chicks community!

Click on the pic of the cute chick!

Thursday, July 27, 2006

I Know IT's in there Somewhere!

As I was looking at this weeks weekly wisdom from Christ Notes, I was so happy to see the following nugget of wisdom.....

Preach the Gospel at all times; when necessary, use words.

You see, I'm not a knock on the door and evangelize kind of person. I don't talk or preach about Christianity unless God puts the words in my mouth and speaks them himself (and believe me, that has happened before, because there have been times that the knowledge and words I had were not my own.)

The best way that I can evangelize to non-believers is to be a good, happy and content Christian. When they see IT, they will want IT and ask me how to get IT. That of course, is when it would be necessary to use words.

Sometimes it is so hard to keep the happiness and stay content. I try to be a good Christian. I want people to say, "Wow, she really leads a Godly life," or "You can see the love of God shine right through her." Yes, these are just two examples of what I would hope people think when they see me. Do I think that happens? Not most of the time. I think most of the time someone would say, "What a disorganized, frustrated woman." "I'd hate to have her life, she's so frustrated all the time running around like a chicken with it's head cut off."

Maybe it's not quite that bad. I hope that a stranger can see good qualities when they interact with me. I hope the people closest to me do know who I am and what I'm all about. If my family doesn't see IT all the time at least they do know that I'm striving to get IT.

And just for clarification, IT is NOT something you can get on eBay!

Free Reads - Great Resource

I don't homeschool but I do work with my daughter a lot for extra enrichment. This is a site that I use so that I don't have to go out and buy books. These books are public domain so it is legal. You can print them out if you want or just read on the computer. My daughter likes reading on the computer.

You'd be shocked at how many great reads are on this site!

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Thursday Thirteen # 1

  1. Alone Time with my Husband
  2. Alone Time with each of my Daughters
  3. Alone Time with Me
  4. Group Bible Studies
  5. Crochet
  6. Reading
  7. Camping
  8. Volunteering at Church
  9. Visiting with Old Friends
  10. Going to the Library
  11. Hiking
  12. Going to the Gym
  13. Golfing

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Yummy Healthy Summer Snacks

To see all the great Works for Me Wednesdays ideas Rocks In My Dryer.

My two year old, Alexandra (see wordless wednesday post) loves popcicles or "pops" as she calls them. I started buying sugar - free but they are more expensive. She doesn't eat enough fruit so instead of freezing juice I started freezing the fruit itself.

She loves the icy consistancy. I do melon balls, peach slices, blueberries. If you want to cut time then canned peach slices will work. I have also bought the fruit already frozen but that's not very frugal.

When freezing, lay fruit pieces on a cookie sheet with waxed or parchment paper. Put in ziplock freezer bag after completely frozen.

We also do yogurt frozen in popcicle molds. If we buy gogurts, I freeze them. They make a great summer snack!

It's just so hot and the children don't seem to eat very much so I try to make the healthy snacks more refreshing.

Works for Me!

Wordless Wednesday

I Feel Like Dirt

The picture above is my 9 yr old daughter with her dog "Hershey". Hershey is an active Miniature Pinscher who will be 2 in October. We bought Hershey from a local breeder. When we went to get the dog we were very specific in asking the breeder if the dog was a good breed to have with children in the household (we had the baby with us). Maybe I should have asked someone who wasn't about to take $450.00 of our hard earned money. This particular breed is not good with small children and she has progressively gotten worse.

She has bit and snapped at both the older children at one point or another. The two yr old I can understand because she probably did something like hug her too tight or pull at a leg. My nine yr old is another story. She has done nothing but love and take care of this dog. I'm very proud of her responsibility level. The day that Monica came running up the stairs crying that Hershey had bit her, I knew we had to find a new home for the dog. My daughter's feelings were so hurt that the dog would bite her. I was angry that the dog would bite the hand that feeds her and someone so gentle as Monica.

Today I called the local dog shelter to get information. They assured me that they could find a good home for the dog and encouraged me to bring her down (because I had not made up my mind yet). I thought I might put an ad in the paper but how was I to know who would be a good person to give the dog too. These people screen prospective dog owners everyday.

I gave the dog a bath. Alexandra, my two year old, helped me. We were having such a good time that I almost changed my mind. As I was driving down the street the dog was looking out the window and having a great time. When we reached the shelter I wanted to turn back around because the thought she could be a good dog if she got enough attention. Then I realized that I just don't have the time to make that commitment. Hershey is a dog that needs to be treated like a child. She is a companion dog. She is a dog that needs to be with someone 24 hrs a day (I picture an older person without children that takes the dog everywhere they go). I cannot give her that attention so we continued on into the shelter.

The people there were extremely nice and understanding. I was not just someone dropping off an unwanted, uncared for animal. They could have made me feel horrible. They did not. We got Hershey all set and said our goodbyes. Tears did flow a little but I just kept it in my mind that it is much better for the dog. Anyway, I could not forgive myself if the dog ever seriously hurt one of my children.

I made sure that they will not let this dog go to a family with children (we can give that home to the dog). This dog needs to be the child. I also asked that they contact me when they find a home for the dog just so I know and I can reassure my oldest that the dog is happy.

I'm very sad today and I feel like dirt. I feel like I've failed at something very important.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

In Other Words

"One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach. One can collect only a few, and they are more beautiful if they are few."~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh ~

I saw this week's quote and knew that this was a perfect week for me to get started with "in other words."

I did not have a wealthy upbringing in a monetary sense. I remember one summer my father had been laid off. We lived in the country in Southern Pennsylvania. Things were so bad that the gas and electricity had been turned off. We had no electric, running water, heat etc.... It was the summer so we had plenty of food primarily from the garden. The house was an old farmhouse with a well that we could bucket water up from. We read the Bible by oil lamp light at night. Cooked on a woodstove (and later used it for heat) that another family had given us.

At that time as a teenager it seemed like a really bad time in my life. Now I would not trade it for the world. The experience brought my family close together. We had a good pure quality of life that all the money in the world couldn't buy.

We had so little at this time, but having so little brought us so much. This was definately a time in our lives when having less "shells" was having something so much more precious even though it may not have seemed so at the time.

Another Million Dollar Day

Today I gave my friend a ride to a Dr appointment. While she was there I took the kids to a nearby park. There I witnessed a mother and her two daughters interact. For one hour I didn't hear the mother speak one positive remark to her daughters (at first I thought she was a childcare provider but later heard one of the girls call her Mom). It made me very sad and angry. I wanted desperately to say something to the woman but thought it was not my place and better to just go home and pray about it than to embarrass or anger her right there in the park. One thing it did do though. The situation made me very aware of my interaction with my two yr old. I gave her praise every opportunity I had. I did not reprimand her for getting dirty or playing in the dirt. After all, what fun is the park if you can't get a little dirt on you? We had an awesome time.

When my friend was done with her dr appointment she said that she would watch my children to give me some more "me" time. This is something that I cannot turn down. I dropped her and my two little ones off at her house (the oldest is still at summer camp). My plan was to get my hair cut and styled and get my eyebrows waxed (they have been taking over my face). I went to this nice local salon where you can get a great haircut for a great price. I love this place because they take walk-ins. Being an unorganized mother of three makes it almost impossible to schedule a day alone a week or more in advance.

I ended up getting my hair washed, cut and styled, my eyebrows waxed, a manicure and a pedicure for only $62.00 plus tip. I came out looking like a million bucks and feeling great.

This was my first pedicure ever and the girl who did it was straight out of cosmetology school. She took over an hour for the pedicure alone. I didn't mind though because the chair was a heated massage chair. I was worried that my feet were really bad but she assured me they weren't and proceeded to tell me about someone she had to do last week. After the story of dirty, thick, completely yellow toenails, I felt reassured that I would not be the story of the week (even though the nail of one of my pinky toes came off completely after a run in with one of the heat register covers and I had painted over the nailess bed just so I could wear sandals).

I again had a chaos free day. My children had a good time. Tomorrow I plan on staying in and spending more quality time with the little ones.

Monday, July 24, 2006

A Few Bat Stories

Story 1:

Last summer we were watching TV when out from the hallway flew a bat. We had a blanket on the couch which I immediately threw over the childrens heads and covered them with my cowering body. My husband was able to shew it out the door with a broom.

Story 2:

Less than a week later a bat got in the house while we had a babysitter watching the children. She killed the bat and properly disposed of it. She's very brave.

Story 3:

One month ago my husband was away on business. A bat flew in the livingroom. All children were sleeping until they heard me screaming like a baby. I called the sheriff's dept and was informed that they don't do bat removal. I called my husband who was three states away and yelled at him for not being here when I needed him. I called my 15 yr old babysitter who lives 2 doors down. She came over and found me cowering on the floor. The bat was nowhere to be found. She searched high and low. My oldest daughter and I went to sleep in the livingroom on the couch. I awoke at 2:30AM. When I opened my eyes I saw the bat hanging on the drapes above my head. I was petrified but I got all the children in one bedroom. I got a broom and moved over to the bat. I stood there for 1 hour before I hit the darn thing. I hit it many times until I was sure it was dead. My daughter said I screamed really loud too but I don't remember. I disposed of the dead creature without touching it. It was truly the most terrifying experience of my life.

Story 4:

My husband and his brother were here a week after story 3. I saw a bat climbing on a curtain near the door. I immediately dropped to the floor and started blubbering. It took them a while but they got the bat to fly out of an open door.

Story 5:

Two weeks ago I went to bed. My husband had fallen asleep on the couch and the two yr old came to bed with me. I had just laid down when I saw a shadow flying around the room. I sighed, rolled on the floor, screamed for my husband. He came in and the bat flew into the 2 yr olds room, where she of course ran for safety. I was horrified to see it flying and circling her bed and the baby's crib. It flew out of there into the livingroom. All of the children were put into one bedroom with the door shut at that time. My husband had to coerce me to come out but he needed my help to tell him where the bat was in case he lost track. He clipped the bat with a broom but then we lost it. We thought it went outside the open door but later when we were all a little relaxed it came flying out again. It took him a while but my husband was able to kill the bat. We disposed of it in plastic without touching it.

The whole family is bat phobic now. We are constantly looking at ceilings, checking the house at night, checking the drapes, listening for odd noises etc...
My two year old trembles at night and will not sleep in her bed. She is constantly saying that there's a bat here or there. The nine yr old won't sleep in her room. We have taped, plugged and stuffed any hole or space that is big enough for a bat to get through (which is the end of you thumb if you are curious). Our house is not an old house. It was built in 1973. We have done all we can do to the areas that we think might be the bat entrances to our house. If one more bat gets in then we call a professional. As it stands right now we are all traumatized in one way or another.

FYI--I called the local heath dept because I killed a bat on my livingroom rug and was worried about rabies. I was informed that the rabies virus is very fragile and dies as soon as it dries. Any surface the animal touched would not be infected as soon as any wet spots dried.

Useless Information Saves the Night

Last Monday I went to a trivia night with my friend who is a high school teacher. Her and a group of teachers from the school that she teaches in go each Monday night.

Let me start from the beginning of the story. That day was extremely hot although sweltering is a better word. I had been swimming with the girls and got home just in time to run the oldest down to the Vacation Bible School that she was attending. It gets sooooo hot in my house. Our poor air conditioner just can't do the job by itself. The coolest place is in the air conditioned minivan, so we took a drive.

The plan was to drop me off at trivia time. When we got there I realized that I was still in my bathing suit top (a v neck tankini which probably was a little low cut for the teachers there), cut off jeans and flip flops. Oh well who was I trying to impress. I went in with my friend who then introduced me to fellow teachers and the high school principal. Urghhh! These women were looking at me as if I walked in from Mars. The funny thing is that I fit right in with the crunchy, vegan establishment that had the trivia night. I just didn't fit in with the group that I was with.

When trivia started there were a few questions that I did know and a few that I didn't. The group was so diverse that most questions were answered. The one question that no one knew except for me? Believe it or not there was one. It went something like this.

Robert VanWinkle is better known as this rapper?

I guess it was just one too many nights of VH1 top 100 countdowns. Maybe it was MTVs most outrageous moments. Whatever it was that made my mind retain that bit of useless information, I'm very glad it happened. I knew the answer and not one of the academics around me knew. After that there was a little more respect and more fun with trivia.

Oh, by the way. If you didn't know the answer, it's Vanilla Ice.

Finding her Path of Life

Yesterday we did not make it to church yet again. I could lie and tell everyone I did go to church (how would you know the difference) but that would be wrong and it would defeat the purpose of my blog.

It was quite selfish on my part. Had I not gone out on my birthday for alone time then I would have gotten my daughters things ready for camp rather than waiting til Sunday morning. Anyhow, yesterday morning was spent packing and organizing for her week away from home.

My daughter has gone to the same Christian camp for the past 3 yrs. We could probably send her somewhere different but she likes this camp and they know her. She is comfortable there and has never had a bad experience there. After she was registered and we got her set up on her bunk I tried to put her shoes underneath the bed. Apparently, the girl on the bottom bunk thought that she had to bring enough stuff to take up every square inch of underneath the bed. I just pushed enough stuff out from underneath to make room for my daughters 3 pair of shoes then the rest stayed in luggage along side the bed. I worried about a few things:

1. The girl on the bottom bunk had brought approximately 10 pairs of shoes and only the flip flops had less than a 5 inch heel. (What parent lets there daughter who is less than 13 yrs old wear heels like that?) This tells me a lot about the girl.

a) She does what she wants with her parents permission
b) or she does what she wants behind her parents back
c) she knows nothing about the outdoors
d) she knows nothing about how a respectable young girl should dress (she also had on a mini skirt and a tank top that was way too tight along with yet another pair of heels and a thick line of black eyeliner painted all the way around each eye)

2. I'm worried that the girl on the bottom bunk is going to be mean to my daughter because she's younger, passive and naturally beautiful. Maybe I'm over reacting but I remember girls like this girl. I hated how they were mean to me and I will be heartbroken the first time my daughter is hurt by another girl because of jealousy or whatever cattiness it may be that day.

3. My biggest fear and worry though is that I go to pick my daughter up on Saturday and she introduces me to her new best friend (the girl on the bottom bunk).

All I can say is that the girls counselor has her hands full. I asked her to keep an eye out for my daughter and she understood why. That poor girl has her hands full. She told me that another girl had brought 10 suitcases. That's more than one whole suitcase per day.

Last bit of our "Saying goodbye" conversation:

Me: You know that if anything inappropriate happens with an adult or counselor you immediately find another adult

Daughter: Yes Mom (with a teenager attitude)

Me: Don't let anyone push you around. Don't let anyone be mean to you. You have a good time.

Daughter: I know (with teenager attitude again)

Me: I love you.

Daughter: I love you too. (little girl attitude back)

She goes off to the ball field where all of the children are. As we were pulling out she comes running up the hill crying.

Me: Is something wrong?

Daughter: No (crying)

Me: Did you get hurt going down the hill?

Daughter: No (still crying)

Me: Do you want to come home? You don't have to stay.

Daughter: No. I want to stay. (still crying)

When she was done crying her river of tears and ready to part ways, she went down the hill. My husband and I stayed and watched from afar until we were sure that she was not going to come back up the hill. We did not leave until another girl came over to talk with her and they were having a good time. Some times are harder than other times to let them grow up.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Weight Watchers or Low Carb?

I have been an unfaithful Weight Watchers member since the baby was born in March. I have lost 14 lbs. They have a great program for nursing mothers. I have noticed that my eating is way out of control again though. I think I need to lo carb for a couple of weeks to gain control of my appetite again. I eat a lot. My pants are getting tight again and I refuse to go buy bigger clothes. I will just have to be uncomfortable until I can lose a few pounds (which I gained back) and stop this eating binge.

Research has shown that lo carb diets do not hurt a nursing baby but I will modify it for her anyway. I will lo carb with the addition of natural fruits. I knew someone who did this and lost over 100 lbs. We will see how it goes. If I like it I may stick with it for a while.

My starting weight was 218 lbs.
My weight now is 207 and creeping back up slowly.

I will post my progress.

Getting below 200 is my first goal.

Saturday, July 22, 2006


I had a great day today. I left at about noon to begin my birthday ventures of being childless for a few hours. I picked up a friend and we went out to eat at our favorite local Mexican Restaurant. We then hit as many stores and bargains as we could before 5:45pm. I had to be home at 6pm because my husband did want to take me to a nice dinner.

We went to Kmart first. They had a few sales and it seemed like everyone in my family needed new socks at the same time. My oldest is also going to summer camp tomorrow so there were some things she needed for the week. I haven't been shopping without children for so long, I forgot how much fun it could be.

Next was Fashion Bug. They had a fantastic sale. Buy anything in the store (except for priced right, and sketchers brand) and get another of equal or lesser value for $1. Woo Hoo!!!!

Next we went to Old Navy. I couldn't control myself there. All clearance items were on sale an additional 50% off. This equaled a total of 75% off everything I bought. I bought clothes for the 2 yr old, the 9 yr old and myself. I saved soooo much money. I also support Old Navy because their clothes are decent and appropriate for all. I hate going to a store and seeing clothes that appear sexy and revealing in a size 6x.

We went to several other places to wrap up a very fun filled shopping spree. I went home, fed the baby and my husband whisked me off to a very nice local fine dining restaurant. We only get to go there when we have a sitter.

By the time I got home I realized how much I need a break every once in a while. I appreciate every little detail of interaction with my children so much more.

Getting out and spending time on me balanced the chaos today.

A Time for Me

Today is my birthday. When asked what I wanted my mind did not think of gifts, places to go or an extravagant dinner. All I want is time by myself. Time without a stroller or tummy pack. Time to not have to worry about my 2yr old running off in a crowded place. Time without my oldest whining about something.

I love all my children very much but today is going to consist of me leaving them with Dad. I get to go and play today.

Friday, July 21, 2006

My Favorite Bible Passage

Philippians 4:5-7 (New International Version)

5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Very few things in my life take chaos away. That is why I call this blog Balance My Chaos. That is what I do on a daily basis. This Bible passage takes some of the chaos away. I try to always keep it in my heart.

It Didn't Last Long

I think my family has a problem. My husband came home today with a TV. What is wrong with him? He told the two yr old that it was her prize. I think it was more a prize for himself. Well, at least I got one complete day without all the noise. Another lost battle.

A Funny Thing Happened This Morning.....

Our TV did not turn on. We have sound but no picture. My children think it's the end of the world as they know it. My husband is okay with it because it is summer and it's rerun tv anyway. I see it as a true blessing!

Teetoring on the Edge

I am a Christian mom who doesn't always act like it. I try but the chaos gets the best of me. I'm here not only to reach out to others who may feel like I do, but to help myself.

I just had my third child and have not quite adjusted yet. We miss church a lot and don't have as much quality time as we did before the baby.

My husband doesn't believe the same as I do. I'm not a really conservative Christian but things like him and my 9 yr old watching The Simpsons together really unnerves me. This is just one example of an inappropriate situation which creates some problems. I have learned that I must choose my battles. Some days I feel as if I give in too quickly. Other days I feel like the fight itself is more "unChristian" than just letting the situation go on.

Some days I feel immersed in the love of God. Other days I feel like I'm teetoring on the edge of my Christianity. I will always have my faith. I will always be a believer. I just feel like I could do so much better at representing my Lord. I want to do a better job of showing my faith on the outside. I want people to see the way I act and know that I am a Christian. So many times I feel that this is not the case.