A Defiant Day

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Originally uploaded by kdp771.

We are closing on a new house on August 22nd. The stress of it all is almost unbearable. I have promised my oldest daughter that she will start in her new school on the first day of school. So far, that will happen.

This morning my husband called to let me know a realtor would be calling me to sign a contract to list our house. I had already had errands to run and I had promised Monica that I would go to the mall and start buying school clothes.

The realtor called and wanted to come to my house to take pictures and go over the paperwork. This was completely unacceptable considering that we just got home from vacation, packing is in progress and my vacuum cleaner has needed a new belt but the local Kmart is out of stock on the particular belt that I need. With three children, my house is a MESS right now. I agreed to go to her office to fill out paperwork and sign a contract. I gathered all the little Indians, piled them into the mini van, and headed out for our 12:30 appointment.

The office was a nice office and had nice conference rooms for closings, meetings and such. Alexandra was in a defying mood today. I had to tell her "Don't touch the laptop on the table," and "Leave the pens and the markers alone," and "Oh, Alex, why do you have highlighter all over you?" At one point Alexandra was laying on the floor, shoes off with her feet on the wall. I told her to get her feet off the wall. She listened. Smiling, she promptly moved her feet less than one inch from the wall and held them there. I hate it when I'm trying to correct her and she makes me laugh.

Alexandra interrupted our meeting by saying "I gotta pee!" The realtor showed us the bathroom. I asked Monica to stay with her and show come back to the room when they were done. Monica came back to the room. She peeked in and said, "Mommy, Alex is sitting IN the toilet and I can't get her to come out. I mean she's actually IN the toilet not on it." I sighed, got up and went to the bathroom where my naked daughter was dancing around. I went back to the room, got my keys, apologized over and over again to the realtor for taking so much of her time, went to the van, got a pullup, realized I didn't have a change of clothes and went back to the bathroom. I put my naked two year old back into the clothes she was wearing. She had toilet water about 3 inches up the back of her shirt. How embarrassed was I???!!!! VERY!

After getting back to the conference room and talking with the realtor, it turns out she has 4 children, all boys. She was very understanding and probably has had something like this happen to her at some time or another. She was so nice. I'm sure it will be a good business relationship. Had this happened with a realtor who didn't have children, they may not have had such compassion. They may not have taken me as a serious seller. Maybe they would have dreaded working with me. I hope she wasn't just putting on a "happy face" and the real truth is that she really does dread working with me.

Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything

1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

9 What does the worker gain from his toil?
10 I have seen the burden God has laid on men.
11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
12 I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live.
13 That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God.
14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.
15 Whatever is has already been, and what will be has been before; and God will call the past to account.
16 And I saw something else under the sun: In the place of judgment—wickedness was there, in the place of justice—wickedness was there.
17 I thought in my heart, "God will bring to judgment both the righteous and the wicked, for there will be a time for every activity, a time for every deed."
18 I also thought, "As for men, God tests them so that they may see that they are like the animals.
19 Man's fate is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath; man has no advantage over the animal. Everything is meaningless.
20 All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return.
21 Who knows if the spirit of man rises upward and if the spirit of the animal goes down into the earth?"
22 So I saw that there is nothing better for a man than to enjoy his work, because that is his lot. For who can bring him to see what will happen after him?

Sometimes part of a scripture comes to my mind and I have to look it up so that I can get the whole context. I kept thinking of the first part of this chapter and realized that I needed to quote the whole chapter.

I run into people who are Christians that let the troubles in the world consume them. They are miserable and it shows. Instead of focusing on the joys of Christianity they are focused on the worldly happenings around them. I find this happening to myself as well. I have to constantly remind myself that no matter what happens in this world, God has a plan.

Basically, it comes down to this, if we always expect the world to be a happy place, we will be disappointed. If we are always disappointed, how can we witness and do what God intended?

Vacation Almost Over

Well, every vacation must come to an end. This one is almost over. I have to say that we have had a wonderful time but I'm glad we are going home tomorrow. I can tell that the baby misses her crib. My husband is tired of driving (although when I offer to drive he won't let me). Monica has been carsick a few times and Alexandra is downright restless. It will be nice to go home.

We hit every place we could possibly cram into a 4 day 3 night stay in Baltimore. It was an AWESOME family vacation. We came to the hotel every evening and crashed just to get up the next morning and do it all over again.

I'm so sorry I couldn't post on a daily basis, but the hotel that said they had wifi in every room really did not. We couldn't connect anywhere but the lobby and I really didn't feel safe down there at night. Our hotel wasn't in the greatest part of town. We did expect that considering the deal we got. We decided to do it that way and spend more money on the fun stuff. And fun we did have!

Day 1 we went to Port Discovery Children's Museum and the Top of the World Observation. I wish we had more time in the museum for the children. It is an awesome, interactive, hands on adventure for all ages. Top of the World is the Baltimore Trade Center's 27th floor which overlooks the entire city. It was quite a site and the skies were clear so everything was visible.

Day 2 we went to the National Aquarium. It was just as awesome as I remember and even more. It's very pricy but I felt like it was worth it. It ended up being an all day affair. My husband and I did draw the line in the cafeteria though. We refused to pay $3.50 for the 20 oz bottle of soda. It was water fountains for us.

Day 3 we went to the U.S.S. Constellation and the Maryland Science Center. We had a great time at both and toured the harbour on the water taxi this day as well.

Day 4 we went to Fort McHenry and the Maryland Zoo. Another great day. We were done at 4:30 pm and raced out of town to beat rush hour traffic on the beltway.

We ate at places like Phillips Seafood Buffet at Harborplace and Captain James Landing and Crabhouse. We also ate at places like Chik Filet and Pizza Delight. We had one nice meal and one cheaper one each day.

I will have plenty of pics to post throughout the week!

What I Love about Blogging

When I saw this week's theme, my mind immediately made a list of all the great things that I love about blogging. I don't really have a great story in mind. My history of blogging isn't really that long. All I know is that I have found a great community to be a part of, no matter where I am at any time.

For the past few years I have been searching for a hobby that would fulfil the need to create something, be a part of something, be proud of my work and share the work that I have created. Blogging has fulfilled those needs. I love so many things about blogging. Here are just a few.

I love that I can blog morning, noon, evening, night or all of the above.

I love that I have found many friends that I would not have found without blogging.

I love that I can brag about my children without anyone rolling their eyes.

I love that if I say something that you don't like, you don't have to read on.

I love that I can edit my words if I feel as though I have inserted my foot into my mouth before anyone hears (reads) them.

I love that if you say something I don't like, I don't have to read on.

I love being a part of the meme's, carnivals and blogrolls.

I love that I can be myself without anyone judging me (and if you are judging me I don't care because I don't know about it)

I love that, in my mind, blogging is an alternative to housework. Good thing the theme is what I love about blogging, not what's good about blogging.

I love that I can be a Christian Women Online, Thirteen Thursday, Wordless Wednesday, Family Friendly, Blogging Chick, Christian Blogger!

I love that my children will be able to look back on this as a chronicle of their lives.

I love that this is not only a diary of words but of photos and pictures that touch my heart.

I would like to say thank you to the blogging community that has welcomed me with open arms so quickly.

Our Plan Worked!

We decided to leave our house at about 9:00pm last night rather than 5:00am this morning to start out our vacation. We had hoped the children slept through the 5 hour trip. Our plan worked. Not only did the children sleep the entire trip, but because we did not have all the usual stops, we turned a 5 hour trip into a 4 hour trip to my grandmothers house.

This house is full of life and energy with the children and my mother's dog. We will then go down to Baltimore for 4 days and 3 nights. Then we will stop by here again for a day then head back home. My mother said the dog will probably sleep the whole time we are gone after playing with Alexandra for two days. I don't think they have stopped since waking up this morning.

Well my posts may not be as regular as before, but I will be on and off the computer. I just can't stay away too long!

Thursday Thirteen # 2

Thirteen Things about what we would like to do on our trip to Maryland next weekI know this is a little late but I have to use my husbands laptop until tomorrow because my power cord has a major short in it and I had to order a new one! 1. The Maryland Zoo. We have a family pass at our little dinky zoo and the Baltimore Zoo is a reciprocal zoo for that pass. Yeah. A freebie! 2. The National Aquarium. I haven't been there since the first year it was open and that was an elementary school field trip. 3. The Maryland Science Center. I was there the same day as the aquarium. I wonder if I will still be in awe as I was that day in my young life? 4. Edgar Allen Poe's House. 5. Edgar Allen Poe's Grave. Right down the street from his house. 6. Top of the World Observation Level -- Tallest building in Baltimore overlooking the city. Went there on that one field trip as well. Wow! 7. U.S.S. Constellation -- the last all sail warship built by the Navy. Now it's a museum open to the public in the Inner Harbor. 8. Dundalk, MD -- this is the community that I grew up in til age 10. I know it has changed a lot but I'd like to see the house I lived in as a child and the house my grandparents owned. 9. Ross's Crab House and as many more crab houses as I can go to-- I am going to eat steamed crabs from the time I get down there til I have to leave. Ross's is still open (I googled them) and I remember getting the best steamed Chesapeake bay blues there. My mom doesn't and never has liked seafood so I also remember that they have one heck of a steak sub! 10. A drive by my old elementary school to see if it's still there. I think my nine yr old would love to look into my past. 11. Port Discovery -- the children's museum. 12. My husband has specifically requested that we ride the ducks. That is where you ride an amphibious vehicle through historic neighborhoods and waters. I think we will all enjoy! 13. Lexington Market. A historic marketplace with over 140 vendors. It was established in 1782. I've never been there but I guess they have every kind of food imaginable. That is right up my alley! Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I'll add you here!)

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It's easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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Wordless Wednesday # 2

In Other Words 2

"There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, 'Thy will be done,' and those to whom God says, 'All right, then, have it your way.'"~ C.S. Lewis ~

This is my second week participating. When I saw this quote, it did not make me think of any particular life story. It made me think of my life as a whole. I am both of those people that C.S. Lewis is speaking of.

If I had a journal of my life there would be two parts. Part one would be all the times I said to God, "Thy will be done," and part two would be all the times God said, "All right, then, have it your way." We have to name each part of the book. Part one would be "Obedient, Happy and Content," and part two would be "Stubborn, Miserable and Not Content at All."

The book would be very confusing because it cannot be divided into these two parts and be in chronological order. I have gone back and forth between these two parts of the journey of my life many times.

When I obey God's will for my life, I know it. The inner happiness and contentment is overflowing and everyone can see that. When I disobey God's will for my life, I cannot sleep well, I am not happy with myself, I am unsure of myself and everyone can see my misery.

I would like to end my life book with part one being the bigger part, with more chapters. I'm just happy to say that I'm not a person that doesn't ever obey God's will for my life.

Please see my prayer request on my prayer blog, A Woman Prays. If you have any prayer requests let me know. My prayer blog is a chapter of part one in my life journal.

A Knock At the Door

Last night it was hot in our house. When I say hot I mean hotter than outside. We turned off the air conditioner, opened the windows and put fans directly in front of the windows to get some of the cool air into the house.

I decided to take a shower. Alexandra came in with me and Monica watched the baby. It was approximately 10:30pm. I don't force the children to go to bed in their rooms when it's so hot in the house. I'm afraid they'd get sick. Actually, the other night when I was blogging, Alexandra got up really whiney, sat on my lap and then threw up. That was pleasant.

Alexandra and I were in the shower having a good time cooling off when Monica exploded through the door. "MOMMY, MOMMY! SOMEONES KNOCKING ON THE DOOR AND YOU TOLD ME TO NEVER ANSWER THE DOOR WHEN I'M ALONE!"

First I was so happy that my daughter remembered such an important rule. I've never left my daughter alone in the house but she has rules for times that I may be taking a shower or such. When I was pregnant with the baby I was on total bedrest without any real help. My daughter took on a lot of responsibility toward her younger sister at that time and I just let the house fall apart.

Secondly, I was confused at who could be knocking at my door so late at night. I live in a nice neighborhood and no one bothers anyone else. I quickly wrapped myself in a towel but before I could get to the landing I heard the door opening. Monica let out a scream and started running for the door. "It's Daddy!".

My husband wasn't due to come home until Tuesday. He was away in New Hampshire on business. He owns a business with his brother and a big part of it is NH. He goes away for 1 week every month. They had a meeting with a client on Monday but they cancelled over the weekend.

What a nice surprise!

A Good Cry

Have you ever just started crying over ....well, nothing. That happened to me today. Well, actually, I was crying over something, but it was a good thing. Can I tell you exactly what that thing was? No I cannot. I can tell you it was an amazing release.

I was sitting at the dining room table with my laptop. I was holding the baby and my two year old, Alexandra was sitting on my lap as well. We were listening to Todd Agnew's "Grace Like Rain" (my new favorite song) then Third Day's "Agnus Dei" and Alex was bopping to the music and singing along with her own version of the songs. I was singing and the baby was looking at me smiling.

I don't know what happened, but I couldn't handle it. It was like I saw so much beauty and grace at once. The beauty of innocence. The beauty of unconditional love. The beauty of being so blessed. The beauty of children. The grace of God. I realized that the chaos of my life covers up so much beauty. For a moment, God took every bit of chaos in my life away, and let me see what I am really striving for on a daily basis. He gave me a glimpse of what I can have if I just have faith.

I didn't cry for a long time. It was a short, quiet cry. I feel so much better. God is working in my life and I really feel that He has a plan for me to do His work. I haven't felt that way for a long time.

I wanted to put the two songs on this post so you could hear them if you're not familiar. I'm not quite that web / html savvy.

Carnival -- My Favorite Things

My family does not live a simple life. We love our toys, gadgets and electronic devices. For instance, we had one laptop but since we could not both be on it at the same time, we bought another. A desktop pc just would not do after being afforded the luxury of a laptop for so long.

To go with the laptops we bought a microsoft gps system (much cheaper than the handhelds). The map is as big as your laptop screen rather than a 4 x 4 screen on the handheld ones. It talks to you, tells you where to turn and shows a map of the vehicle moving. We can now navigate our way through any city without getting lost and it automatically gives you the shortest destination from point a to point b. The only advantage I see to the handheld ones is that you can put them in your pocket while walking.

Of course, now that we have the laptop in the car and the gps system going all the time while driving (we have been travelling a lot) we had to buy a power inverter to plug the laptop into the lighter outlet in the car. We got this item on clearance at Kmart for $17.00.

We also use the other laptop in the car as a dvd player in the van. No sense buying an expensive portable dvd player when we can use a laptop. Again we just bought another power inverter to plug into the other lighter outlet so our children can watch the dvd of their choice. It was a dramatic tradgedy when the battery went dead in the middle of movie Ice Age. And the oscar for best performance in a drama goes toooooo..................................My oldest daughter, Monica, of course.

I love the E-Sword program on my laptop. There is no other Bible Study program better than this one, in my opinion of course, and best of all it's FREE.

Now that you know what our favorite things are I will get to the story. The week before July 4th my husband was away on business. I decided to go camping in a state park located approximately 30 miles away from home with the three girls. I love camping and it was a great experience. Problem. It rained every single day. My oldest daughter and I refused to give up and the two yr old had a blast in mud. By the end of the trip, I had learned how to build a completely leak proof compound out of tarps, some poles and rope. We went to a local laundermat to dry the bedding if it got damp. The river was up but the rangers were constantly checking on everyone and I knew they would tell me to leave if it got dangerous.

What I did not know. It was completely and dangerously flooded back home and there were evacuations in the area. Why did I not know? This family of gadgets, toys and electronic devices only had one cell phone and it is my husbands business phone. We were camping cluelessly and completely disconnected from the outer world.

Now I had asked for, gave hints that I wanted and even tried to guilt trip my husband into getting me a cellphone. I said things like, "Don't you think I should have a cellphone for safety when I'm out, alone with 3 children most of the time?"

I still didn't know what was going on, but on the way home with all the roadblocks and officers I did think there was an escaped convict on the loose. After several detoured routes, the kids and I got home safely. There was only one passable route to and from my house when I came home but they closed that later because it started raining and flooding more. We could not go anywhere for 1 1/2 days.

My husband was very glad to finally hear from us and know that we were okay. He had called the park office where we were camping and they didn't want to give him any information as to whether we were still there or not. After a few conversations of talking nicely, asking because he was concerned, yelling, screaming, cajoling, and coercing they finally told him that we were still there the morning we were supposed to leave.

We were completely blessed in that our house was dry but people 1 block away from us lost everything they owned. My neighbors basement was flooded. My father in law, one town over, lost everything in his basement including the furnace, hot water heater, washer, dryer and what seemed like endless boxes of memories. I personally have never seen such devastation in our area as this. I was very sad. Interested in seeing photo and news coverage of the area during the flood?

Skip three weeks later to my birthday. I get a purse that I wanted which eliminates the need for a diaper bag because it is big enough to put all the essentials in it. In the purse, lo and behold, my very own, brand new cell phone. Now my husband can go on his business trips without having to worry and I have yet another fun toy and favorite thing.

Dedicated to Everyone Who's Given Me a Dirty Look

I don't know if the magazine realized it would be quite so big, but apparently they got a lot of flack for this beautiful photograph. Read article here. Read some reaction here.

Okay so here's my 2 cents.

I believe breastfeeding mothers have an obligation to be discreet as to not just let everything hang out. I have seen mothers like this in public, my favorite being the girl I saw in Walmart in a too tight tank top up to her neck and the baby hanging off her breast like a Christmas ornament as she walked down the aisle with the other breast hanging out. This classless and shocking act offended even me (but I do give credit to a young girl for going with breastfeeding).

I believe the photo above is completely tasteful for a baby magazine and if you are offended by it then don't look. I am offended by Playboy and Hustler but you don't see me writing to them about how offended I am about the magazine covers I don't even look.

My baby doesn't like a bottle. If she is bottle fed you have to manually squeeze the milk into her mouth until she chokes and swallows it because she refuses to latch on to the nipple. I believe this is cruel so I don't leave her with anyone for a long period of time (4 hrs at the most). Each of my children deserved the best and no less. I determined that the benefits of breastfeeding far outweigh any benefits to formula feeding for me. My daughters deserved it. If you have a choice (some moms don't because of medications, milk production issues etc) then please consider trying to do what your body was made to do. Your baby deserves the benefits.

If you are offended or turned on by a blob of my fat that might accidently show itself in a clothing malfunction, then do me the courtesy and look away because you are the sick individual gawking at me. I do not bare it all. I am very conservative. I wear loose t shirts so that you don't see anything. Sometimes I can be sitting directly in front of you, feeding my child and you wouldn't even notice unless you were looking somewhere on my body you really shouldn't be looking anyway.

I will feed my child in the dirty bathroom when you bring your plate in and sit in the stall next to me, or better yet, make your child sit in there and eat.

If you think it's "gross" that I feed my child the way God intended, (if you don't believe in God then the way nature intended or whatever you believe in) then look up the word mammal. If you think my child deserves less than the best, you are dead wrong. If you are anti breastfeeding and think the whole act is sick, then you are a fool.

If you are a breastfeeding mother and someone gives you a really hard time, know your rights. The saying "Knowledge is Power" is very true. If you are a mom or mom to be who would like support or more information on breastfeeding, contact your local chaper of La Leche League today.

If you have questions or are uneasy about breastfeeding or need support, feel free to comment. I will be glad to talk to you.

Blogging Chicks Rock!

I'm now proud to be a member of the blogging chicks community!

Click on the pic of the cute chick!

I Know IT's in there Somewhere!

As I was looking at this weeks weekly wisdom from Christ Notes, I was so happy to see the following nugget of wisdom.....

Preach the Gospel at all times; when necessary, use words.

You see, I'm not a knock on the door and evangelize kind of person. I don't talk or preach about Christianity unless God puts the words in my mouth and speaks them himself (and believe me, that has happened before, because there have been times that the knowledge and words I had were not my own.)

The best way that I can evangelize to non-believers is to be a good, happy and content Christian. When they see IT, they will want IT and ask me how to get IT. That of course, is when it would be necessary to use words.

Sometimes it is so hard to keep the happiness and stay content. I try to be a good Christian. I want people to say, "Wow, she really leads a Godly life," or "You can see the love of God shine right through her." Yes, these are just two examples of what I would hope people think when they see me. Do I think that happens? Not most of the time. I think most of the time someone would say, "What a disorganized, frustrated woman." "I'd hate to have her life, she's so frustrated all the time running around like a chicken with it's head cut off."

Maybe it's not quite that bad. I hope that a stranger can see good qualities when they interact with me. I hope the people closest to me do know who I am and what I'm all about. If my family doesn't see IT all the time at least they do know that I'm striving to get IT.

And just for clarification, IT is NOT something you can get on eBay!

Free Reads - Great Resource

I don't homeschool but I do work with my daughter a lot for extra enrichment. This is a site that I use so that I don't have to go out and buy books. These books are public domain so it is legal. You can print them out if you want or just read on the computer. My daughter likes reading on the computer.

You'd be shocked at how many great reads are on this site!

Thursday Thirteen # 1

13 THINGS I REALLY ENJOY BUT DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME TO DO

1. Alone Time with my Husband
2. Alone Time with each of my Daughters
3. Alone Time with Me
4. Group Bible Studies
5. Crochet
6. Reading
7. Camping
8. Volunteering at Church
9. Visiting with Old Friends
10. Going to the Library
11. Hiking
12. Going to the Gym
13. Golfing

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Yummy Healthy Summer Snacks

To see all the great Works for Me Wednesdays ideas Rocks In My Dryer.

My two year old, Alexandra (see wordless wednesday post) loves popcicles or "pops" as she calls them. I started buying sugar - free but they are more expensive. She doesn't eat enough fruit so instead of freezing juice I started freezing the fruit itself.

She loves the icy consistancy. I do melon balls, peach slices, blueberries. If you want to cut time then canned peach slices will work. I have also bought the fruit already frozen but that's not very frugal.

When freezing, lay fruit pieces on a cookie sheet with waxed or parchment paper. Put in ziplock freezer bag after completely frozen.

We also do yogurt frozen in popcicle molds. If we buy gogurts, I freeze them. They make a great summer snack!

It's just so hot and the children don't seem to eat very much so I try to make the healthy snacks more refreshing.

Works for Me!

Wordless Wednesday

I Feel Like Dirt

The picture above is my 9 yr old daughter with her dog "Hershey". Hershey is an active Miniature Pinscher who will be 2 in October. We bought Hershey from a local breeder. When we went to get the dog we were very specific in asking the breeder if the dog was a good breed to have with children in the household (we had the baby with us). Maybe I should have asked someone who wasn't about to take $450.00 of our hard earned money. This particular breed is not good with small children and she has progressively gotten worse.

She has bit and snapped at both the older children at one point or another. The two yr old I can understand because she probably did something like hug her too tight or pull at a leg. My nine yr old is another story. She has done nothing but love and take care of this dog. I'm very proud of her responsibility level. The day that Monica came running up the stairs crying that Hershey had bit her, I knew we had to find a new home for the dog. My daughter's feelings were so hurt that the dog would bite her. I was angry that the dog would bite the hand that feeds her and someone so gentle as Monica.

Today I called the local dog shelter to get information. They assured me that they could find a good home for the dog and encouraged me to bring her down (because I had not made up my mind yet). I thought I might put an ad in the paper but how was I to know who would be a good person to give the dog too. These people screen prospective dog owners everyday.

I gave the dog a bath. Alexandra, my two year old, helped me. We were having such a good time that I almost changed my mind. As I was driving down the street the dog was looking out the window and having a great time. When we reached the shelter I wanted to turn back around because the thought she could be a good dog if she got enough attention. Then I realized that I just don't have the time to make that commitment. Hershey is a dog that needs to be treated like a child. She is a companion dog. She is a dog that needs to be with someone 24 hrs a day (I picture an older person without children that takes the dog everywhere they go). I cannot give her that attention so we continued on into the shelter.

The people there were extremely nice and understanding. I was not just someone dropping off an unwanted, uncared for animal. They could have made me feel horrible. They did not. We got Hershey all set and said our goodbyes. Tears did flow a little but I just kept it in my mind that it is much better for the dog. Anyway, I could not forgive myself if the dog ever seriously hurt one of my children.

I made sure that they will not let this dog go to a family with children (we can give that home to the dog). This dog needs to be the child. I also asked that they contact me when they find a home for the dog just so I know and I can reassure my oldest that the dog is happy.

I'm very sad today and I feel like dirt. I feel like I've failed at something very important.

In Other Words

"One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach. One can collect only a few, and they are more beautiful if they are few."~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh ~

I saw this week's quote and knew that this was a perfect week for me to get started with "in other words."

I did not have a wealthy upbringing in a monetary sense. I remember one summer my father had been laid off. We lived in the country in Southern Pennsylvania. Things were so bad that the gas and electricity had been turned off. We had no electric, running water, heat etc.... It was the summer so we had plenty of food primarily from the garden. The house was an old farmhouse with a well that we could bucket water up from. We read the Bible by oil lamp light at night. Cooked on a woodstove (and later used it for heat) that another family had given us.

At that time as a teenager it seemed like a really bad time in my life. Now I would not trade it for the world. The experience brought my family close together. We had a good pure quality of life that all the money in the world couldn't buy.

We had so little at this time, but having so little brought us so much. This was definately a time in our lives when having less "shells" was having something so much more precious even though it may not have seemed so at the time.